THE FOLLOWING IS A LIGHT HEARTED LOOK AT CONVENTIONAL GARDENING….SOMETHING TO GET YOU THINKING ABOUT HOW PERMACULTURE MIGHT DIFFER.
GODS THOUGHTS ON LAWNS
GOD
Frank you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there on the planet? What happened to the dandelions,violets,thistle and stuff I planted eons ago? I had a perfect no maintenance garden plan.Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honey bees and flocks of songbirds.I expected to see a vast garden of colours by now, but all I see are these green rectangles.
ST FRANCIS
It’s the tribes that settled there Lord the Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers “weeds” and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass.
GOD
Grass? But it’s so boring. It’s not colourful. It doesn’t attract butterflies,birds and bees; only grubs and sod worms. It’s sensitive to temparatures.Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there?
ST FRANCIS
Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing the grass and poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn.
GOD
The spring rains and warm weather probably makes grass grow really fast that must make the Suburbanites happy
ST FRANCIS
Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little they cut it sometimes twice a week.
GOD
They cut it ? Do they bail it like hay?
ST FRANCIS
Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags.
GOD
They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?
ST FRANCIS
No, Sir just the opposite. They pay to throw it away.
GOD
Now let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow. And when it does they cut it off and pay to throw it away?
ST FRANCIS
Yes, Sir
GOD
These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work.
ST FRANCIS
You aren’t going to believe this, Lord. When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out the hoses and pay more money to water it so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.
GOD
What nonsence. At least they kept some of the trees . That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the springto provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the Autumn, they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect trees and bushes. It’s a natural cycle of life.
ST FRANCIS
You better sit down Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As soon as the leaves fall they rake them up into great piles and pay to have them hauled away.
GOD
No. What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the winter, to keep the soil moist and loose?
ST FRANCIS
After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy something which they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of leaves.
GOD
And where do they get this mulch?
ST FRANCIS
They cut down trees and grind it up to make the mulch.
GOD
Enough! I don’t want to think about this anymore. St Catherine, you’re in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us tonight?
ST CATHERINE
‘Dumb and Dumber”, Lord It’s a story about…..
GOD
Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story from St Francis.
